This boy...

So I'm going to be honest...
Today.. well tonight started out AMAZING!
And then people went all dramatic..
Okay my roommates did.
And I didn't drink enough...

And then I had a mental breakdown.
Like almost a bad one,
ALMOST!

So I started with calling said boy to harass him.
And that didn't last long.
I forgot how quickly the cold sobers you up..
:(
I got in that bad state.
Like really bad state.

And thank god I was on the phone with boy.
Cause I broke down.
Badly.
Like sitting on the stairs looking like a drunkin' fool.
It was embarrassing.
But then a guy..
A very nice guy indeed..
Came up the stairs and offered me a drink.
It made me smile.
But the fact that he could hear me down stairs was a little awkward.
But the fact that he came up just made me feel better.
Well for a few.
It was really sweet.
It made me feel like I wasn't completely worthless.
Thank you completely random stranger.
Thank you.

And thank you boy.
There are not enough words to describe how thankful I am for you.
Talking to you tonight made me want to live.
To attempt to make something of this shit of life I live...
Somewhere, Somehow, I'll find a way...
I'll find the want to live.
The want to be happy.
The want to make something of myself.
The want to be better.
And then rub it in his face.
One day...

I hope...

It is going to take time.
A longgggg time.
3 months is apparently not even close to enough time.
But hopefully with this boy I'll find my way.
I hope...
At least make it though this rough time.

Have I mentioned how grateful I am for him?
He is my best friend right now.
The one and only person I can trust.
Which surprises myself...
But I am so thankful for it.
It is the only reason I am alive right now.

The end of tonight sucked.
The end.