Today is not my day.

And I guess tonight isn't either.
Fuck this.

I don't know what to do anymore.
It seems like everything is falling apart.
Again.

Trying to hold my head above water is not working out.
I don't know if I can do this.
It doesn't help that I can't sleep.

I woke up at 3 am.
Nightmare.
Some crazy indian was chasing me with a machete.
It woke up me.
Then it took me forever to fall back asleep.
And then I woke up about every hour.
Another stupid dream.
Well I guess nightmare...
It was about my ex.
It was horrible.
I couldn't make it go away.
I just wanted to cry.
And then when I finally forgot about all that...
My ex's and my song came on at the grocery store.
Like really!
Fuck my life.
It really sucked.

And I don't have my best friend anymore.
I don't know what's going on.
I don't want to think about it.
I know I will start to over think it.
All night long.
And then I won't sleep anymore than I barely do.
Ugh.
Fuck.

Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.

That is how I feel.
It can all be summed up in 1 word.
Fuck.

And I am officially giving up cussing for lent.
And I might give up boys while I'm at it....
Fuck them.
Not literally.
But whatever.
Ugh.

I have seriously taken a billion pain killers today.
I can't get this headache to go away.
I hate my life right now.

Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.

Thank god for girl scout cookies.
I just pigged out on them.
Do I feel any better?
Yes.
Well no.
I want to say yes.
But in reality I don't.

I think it is time to curl up in bed.
And try to not break down.
Tomorrow is another day.