Just Can't Win

This week has been nothing but shit.
Complete shit.
I seriously can't win.
I can't seem to catch a break just once.
It's one thing after another.
Trying to climb out of this hole is getting harder and harder.
I don't know how much longer I can keep going.
And that scares me.

I haven't been this down in a long time.
It's hard to be strong when you are all alone.
I don't know how much longer I can be strong.
Every day just seems to get worse.
And tonight was the cherry of it all.

I just wanted a break this weekend.
Even if my original plans were gone.
I just wanted to go home.
Spend some time with family.
Get away from this place.
But no.
My computer still isnt ready.
So I am still stuck in this place.
At this point I don't even think I want to drive 3 hours.
It doesnt seem worth it.
I don't think I have the energy to.
And if my computer isn't ready tomorrow morning...
I might just stay.
And sleep.
And sleep.
And sleep.
I think I need it.
I need a lot of things.

Ugh.
And on top of all this shit this week...
One of my hermit crabs died.
He was in the middle of a molt.
It really sucks.
And being in this mindset doesn't help.
I feel like a total failure.
This boy says it's not my fault.
And that I can't control nature.
But still.
It's hard to feel like I didnt fail when he is dead.

I just wanted one thing in life to go okay.
But I guess not.
Maybe one day I will catch a break.
But probably not.
The world hates me.
And right now I really hate me.

I just always feel like a failure.
No matter what I do.
I'm always failing.
I just can't ever seem to win.
Or even catch a small break.
Life just really sucks.